We're worth it.

just a few days ago at work i cried. lol.  i swear i wouldn't cry again but i just can't.  there was just alot of emotions..enclosing round and hurting the sentiment in my soul. geez. i sound...

anyways.  i was sick a day before.  don't know why i was so tired.  prolly just so tired from working and thinking too hard about it.  i think i was all drained out.  so i took a day off from work to rest.  was coughing and had flu so i decided to see the doctor and also.. yeah. get  a medical cert to cover my sick leave.   and when i returned work, i was discussing with my supervisor about how we'd wanna manage giving out the bags to staff who haven't take it in conjunction with the Friday's event.  and i had a mild uh. argument. well it wasn't me who argued.  it was her. my supervisor. blardy hell. haha.  she lost her cool. haiz... she is so like that.  so here's how it happen.

i started out explaining to her my idea about how i want the system to work.  i wanted to do all at once because if after the event i presume everyone would just rush home.  i told her that i've discussed with an IT colleague and how he's willing to help out.  wanted  the scanning station to stay at the entrance of the hall till the end of event and so that we will not miss out staff (who haven't took the bag) from "running away".  but she just don't understand my idea and the thing is, i don't know HOW that our communication just twisted with her telling her idea.  i didn't know when it came in.  i became confused.  keeping quiet to digest what she just said.  but she took advantage of my quietness and roared instead.  freakin maniac~! and she goes about telling the list that she wants me to give to the IT. urgh.  i tell you the whole conversation is ugly.  but i didn't even raise my voice.  i was surprised at myself. just maintained calmness in my myself and explaining to her again but she still couldn't get it.

in the end of course we didn't go with my idea.  cus she doesn't give a care and second thought about mine. anyways, i force out doing the things she didn't WANT me to. lol. wait.  she wanted me to give her 2 lists. i did. but i talked to the IT first before giving him what HE needs. you see, my colleague is the IT and he knows the system better than us.  when he proposed the idea, i felt that it was right and absolutely the best idea and i understand it from him. i mean- just think about it. we have a professional here who's able to advise to us. just THINK about it. secondly, i wanted to give out the bags at the entrance of the hall but supervisor wanted to give out at another location.  i adhere to that. tsk.

so when i gave the IT what he needs, i was prepared to be called up again.  this time it was over the phone.  goodness.  you'll never imagine.  you hear her screaming freakin over the mouthpiece being like a stubborn kid wanting only her way.  damnn.  how spoiled.  and i just couldn't get it why she couldn't understand what i'm saying~!  i'm seeeerious.   twice and thrice and maybe the 4th time explaining...she won't ever get it.  what's inside that brain of hers?!  brick and sand and water = cements??  i explained it in the simplest manner and term and what exactly was told by the IT person.  anyways she demanded a testing on that very day.  hurt. i was hurt. haiz....... couldn't control my emotions.  i just got better.  was feeling a little light that day too.  and i took a time off, went to the toilet to cry.  then i walked down to the admin at customer service. talked to some other very nice colleagues.  couldn't contain my emotions and cried again. lol.  it was painful and embarrassing to cry in front of them.   what would they see me? weak? haiz.. well i was, that day. but they're really nice.

after lunch that day, supervisor walked to my table and gave me chicken pie. what was that supposed to mean.  her look on the face was apologetic. haiz...... should i take? lol.   didn't feel like eating it at all.  i don't want to even try and get close to her.  have always avoid any discussion with her and only talked to her when needed or important.  i know this may not be the way but i think i'm content to doing what i'm supposed to do and doing what is right.  honestly, how long will i be able to survive under her?? geez.. i don't want to think about that.

anyways the day has gone and we only had a handful of staff who came to collect the bags.  as i had presumed~ they all went home.  so now we still have got like 400+ bags left.  need to set another mission to give that away.  tsk.

lol.

in life i always think i'm on a mission.  i hope to get guides from the Almighty and always, always to think positive in all the happenings.  He knows to take care of us, He knows what he is doing and all i gotta do is to put my faith and trust and everlasting love to Him.  God knows we're worth it.